remember that?

i mean, once i was up in the mountains up a long dirt rutted road, at a little beautiful hot springs, with deer coming down to the trickle of a cold stream that ran into it and they were quietly drinking, and the sky was blue blue blue.

i remember what it felt like to first find out we could change the world.
when i first started learning how people had changed things.when i first had hope in widespread, fundamental change.and how this hope made me open up, it made me breathe deeper, it made my eyes shine brighter, it made me want to live, it made me love the world, even it's contradtictions, it made me sad and loving and empathetic.
it took me out of myself.it took away some of my fear.

sometimes we have to fight the voices in our heads, our own roads of destruction, our own roads that are no longer keeping us sane.
sometimes we have to push ourselves to learn, even though the learning seems so pointless.
sometimes we need to set exaplmes just by the way we look and love.
sometimes we need to send out our knowledge, sometimes we need to hold on to what we know.